


you look happier without me.

by dvntldr



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Akamatsu Kaede & Oma Kokichi are Friends, Akamatsu Kaede Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Amami Rantaro is Oblivious, Depressed Akamatsu Kaede, Depressed Oma Kokichi, F/M, Friends in love, M/M, Multi, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Out of Character Oma Kokichi, Polyamory, Saihara Shuichi is Oblivious, Self-Harm, but at least they’re idiots in love, no beta we die like men, they are all idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvntldr/pseuds/dvntldr
Summary: shuichi has finally worked up the courage to ask rantaro out, and of course rantaro said yes. kokichi is happy for them, really he is. so why does he want to cry when he sees them smile at each other?kaede tries to comfort him, but it seems she’s going through the exact same thing.—tw for self-harm & implied depression
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro, Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede/Oma Kokichi, Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 91





	you look happier without me.

Kokichi strolls into class and is immediately bombarded with all sorts of noise; his classmates are shrieking jubilantly, the sounds of excited discussion reverberating loudly in his ears. He quirks a inquisitive brow, setting down his bag, and taps Shuichi on the shoulder to ask for an explanation over what’s driving their class wild so early in the morning. 

Shuichi turns to him, expression filled with a wild, brilliant happiness, and even without speaking Kokichi already knows what he’s going to say. 

“Rantaro said yes!” He beams down at the liar, gold eyes shining, and Kokichi bites the inside of his cheek so hard he can taste blood immediately as the green-haired boy in question wraps an arm around Shuichi’s waist, smiling at Kokichi as well. 

“He asked me to be his boyfriend this morning, real early before anyone else showed up. Then Angie appeared and saw us and, well, I’m pretty sure you know how that goes.” He shrugs, cool and collected as usual, but the supreme leader has known Rantaro for long enough that it’s easy to see the obvious love and joy in his eyes when he looks at Shuichi. 

Kokichi gives himself exactly three seconds to wallow in his self-pity. Then he takes a deep breath, exhales, and grins cheekily at the other two males, no deceit in his expression whatsoever. “I’m so happy for you! Took you long enough, Shumai, I was gonna ask Taro-chan out myself if you wasted anymore time being a dumbass.” 

Shuichi immediately begins to sputter in indignation, an adorable flush coloring his cheeks pink, but Rantaro’s gaze just softens. The purple-haired boy scowls unconsciously at that; he really  _ hates  _ the way Rantaro seems to always see through him. Or he’d hate it if he didn’t love the stupid boy so much, at least. “Thanks, Kichi. You know you mean a lot to us both, right?”

Kokichi cannot handle this amount of kindness and honesty from them, not today. His mind is a frayed thread on the verge of snapping, and today might be the day he finally cracks. “Of course I know, moron,” he says with an arrogant sneer, and turns away as Kaito grabs Shuichi by the shoulders and starts shouting double date ideas for the whole class to hear. Regardless of his personal feelings, Kokichi is far from stupid. He knows they care about him. Just not enough to like him back, apparently. 

Kaede’s hunched-over frame catches his eye. The girl looks absolutely miserable, her expression so desolate that it hurts him to see. She’s turned away from the happy class just like him so none of them can see her face, elegant fingers wrapped tightly around her piano notes like it’s her last lifeline. The pianist looks up, apparently having felt his gaze on her, and they share a commiserating look of absolute and utter misery. 

_ Great.  _ Just another thing he has to deal with. Breaking eye-contact with her, he grabs his bag and walks out, relieved when nobody seems to notice. School is for losers anyways.

—

_ peeanist —> supreme overlord of the whole entire world, duh _

_ < Where are you? > _

_ supreme overlord of the whole entire world, duh —> peeanist _

_ < my room. y > _

_ peeanist —> supreme overlord of the whole entire world, duh _

_ < I’m coming over. > _

—

Kaede walks in with no little amount of foreboding, her heart dropping instantly when she sees the sheer amount of blood that’s soaked into the liar’s bedsheets. “Kokichi,” she hisses, rushing over to him—the boy is laying on his bed, tired eyes glued to the ceiling, a bloody knife in his right hand. “You know that you need to tell me when you do this, right?” Luckily, she always comes prepared when it comes to him (it’s part and parcel of being involved with Kokichi, really); pulling out antiseptic, a stitching kit, bandages, medical tape and waterproof strips, she quickly gets to work, treating his wounds that have become oh-so familiar to her now. 

“I don’t  _ need  _ to tell you anything, Kaede-chan,” he says, propping himself up and watching her clean his cuts with an almost-bored look in his eyes. “You’re the one who came barging into my room completely uninvited.”

Kaede doesn’t say anything for a while, clearly focused on the task at hand. She wraps up his stitched wounds with military precision before sitting back and examining her work critically for a few moments. It’s silent for a bit. 

“You promised you’d tell me if you hurt yourself.”

“I’m a liar, Kaede.” Kokichi responds tiredly, no bite to his words. She sighs, ushering him up, and begins to strip his bedsheets mechanically, thanking every deity out there that he has a mattress protector beneath. The dirty items go straight into a laundry basket and she sits back in his chair, ready to chew him out some more before he’s suddenly in her private space, his fingers running through her greasy locks of hair. He frowns. “How long have you not been taking care of yourself?”

She doesn’t bother trying to sugarcoat or lie to the other ultimate. There’s just no point. “I’ve known Shuichi was gonna ask Rantaro out for four days.” 

He lets out an unsurprised huff and leans closer, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes. As usual, it’s her who initiates the kiss, tilting her head up to capture his lips with hers; he sighs, shivering a little, and his hands come up to slide into her hair, uncaring of how unclean she must be after four days without a shower. 

“Come on,” Kokichi says when they break apart. “My turn to take care of you now.” She doesn’t resist as she’s led into the bathroom and carefully stripped, his hands not lingering on her for long, before he pulls off his own clothes and joins her in the shower. “Sit,” he points to the shower stool. “I’ll wash your hair.” 

Obligingly, Kaede takes a seat, reluctantly enjoying the feel of hot water caressing her skin; in the past, the first time they’d done this, it had been rather strange for the both of them—she had been self-conscious of her curves and he had just not liked being in such a tight space with someone else. Eventually, though, they’d gotten used to it.

His hands are so, so gentle as they slowly work through her long blonde hair, detangling knots and combing it out with lithe, experienced fingers so they fall over her shoulders smoothly like a waterfall. Kokichi reaches for the body soap, passing it to her so she can do that bit herself while he thoroughly shampoos her hair before rinsing it, making sure it’s clean as can be. 

He washes himself up quickly, having taken a shower earlier already, and begins to change after handing her a set of clothes she had left in his room the last time she’d come over. Kaede smiles at him softly once they’re both dressed, her expression growing a little mischievous. He’s really rubbing off on her, isn’t he? “Let’s go out.”

Kokichi blinks. “Go where?”

“Somewhere. Anywhere. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to go back to class, and I’m tired of the school compound. Let’s just go, okay? I know you can drive.”

He snorts amusedly, apparently willing to play along for now. “Don’t have a driver’s licence, but sure, I can drive. Why the hell not? Go get whatever you wanna bring, I’ll get us a car. Meet me downstairs in five?”

“Thanks, Kokichi,” she says instead. He meets her grateful gaze and then looks away, expression unreadable.

“Don’t thank me.”

—

They pull up outside a McDonalds, because of course they do. 

“Eat something,” he snaps when Kaede makes a face at the menu. “Or I’ll force it down your throat till you choke on it.”

She raises her brows at him, but obeys, ordering a regular cheeseburger with fries. Kokichi gets two grape Pantas, three hashbrowns and about eleven vouchers that he’d taken from behind the counter when the cashier hadn’t been looking. All in all, a rewarding experience.

He drives them to the top floor of a nearby parking lot and switches the car’s engine off. “We’re already out here, you might as well sit with me,” he says faux-cheerily as he shuts the car door and casually hops up onto the ledge, swinging his legs over the edge and taking a gulp of his drink. Kaede stands behind him, her mouth pursed in a tight line, but doesn’t tell him to get off the edge, simply leaning against the ledge to eat and watch the skyline with him. 

“Do you think you’ll be okay seeing them in class?”

Kokichi very carefully doesn’t flinch. “Yes,” he says easily, no hint of a lie in his voice. His acting skills are honestly to die for, she thinks to herself sourly. “Why would my friends being happy affect me, Kaede dear? I may be an evil supreme leader, but I’m not  _ that  _ selfish.” 

“...fine,” she allows after a moment. If he needs to lie to cope, she won’t comment—not that she has much room to, considering her own coping mechanisms. The girl leans closer to him, resting her head against his side comfortably. “I’m probably not going to be okay if I’m being honest, though.”

He laughs, half-mocking, half-understanding, and pinches one of her cheeks lightly. “Sweet, soft Kaede. You’re too sensitive for your own good.”

“Well, someone between the two of us has to be,” she replies with a huff. He smiles when he looks down at her, fondly exasperated. 

“You’re gonna get hurt so badly one day if you keep up this heart-on-your-sleeve gimmick, you know.”

“I know.”

They stare at the horizon for a little longer before she tugs lightly at his sleeve. “Come down from there. I don’t like seeing you like that.”

Kokichi complies without a word, getting down and sprawling out onto the car hood like a lazy starfish instead, and her heart flutters unwillingly at his easy accomodation of her fears. He likes to pretend he doesn’t care about her, and their class buys it for the most part, but. Well. She knows the truth and that’s enough.

She honestly doesn’t know which is worse; her so-called ‘heart-on-her-sleeve’ habit, which lead to her being hurt badly more often than not, or Kokichi’s avoidant, antagonistic tactics, which lead to his having to lick his wounds in private because no one will do it for him anymore. Is it better to pull people close and be hurt by them eventually, or is it better to push them away and be hurt whilst doing so? 

The moth and the flame is what she’d like to compare herself and Kokichi to, but it’s more like they’re both the moths. Trapped, helpless, yet hopelessly, eternally bound to the flames. 

She climbs onto the hood to curl into his side, her half-eaten cheeseburger left abandoned at the ledge. He sighs, his breath whooshing out tiredly, violet eyes reluctant as he finally delivers the truth. 

“No, I won’t be okay. But I’ll seem like I am.”

“Thanks for being honest with me, at least.” Kaede bites her lip, propping herself up with her elbows to look down at him properly. His eyes are closed, but she knows without a doubt that he’s still listening. “I love you. I love—of course I love Shuichi and Rantaro, but I love  _ you _ too. You know that, right?”

He doesn’t reply, but his hand slips into hers, his thumb rubbing reassuring circles into her knuckles, and that’s enough of an answer. The sun’s glare is beginning to wane, clouds gathering above them, but she lets her eyelids fall shut anyways.

“Sorry today sucked so much, Kokichi.” She says softly. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry too.”

Behind them, in the car, both of their phones ring. Neither of them hear it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> wtf is this
> 
> HELP I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS MY SLEEP DEPRIVED BRAIN WROTE THIS MESS ALL ON ITS OWN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO INPUT FROM ME.
> 
> but anyways yes we love entangled love squares.
> 
> i might write a sequel where they all get together who knows??? 
> 
> as usual, kudos & comments are my lifeblood!


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